It turns out Andy is home! No sign of the dogs though…

So I recieved a reply from Fido (see below)! Hooray!

Subject: Fido

Date: Fri, 2 Jul 2010 09:58:55 -0400




Dear Maggie Blahdidiblahy,

Thank you for visiting Fido’s Web site, my name is Andy and I am happy to assist you.

Due to system maintenance, the website has been working on and off for the past month.

I invite you to attempt your request once again.

I thank you for your understanding and apologize for the inconvenience this situation has caused.

Please note that although we understand the frustration, no compensation is being offered.



It was neither witty, nor offered me anything. So I replied, restating my issues.

Hi Andy!

Finally I can put a name to the print!

I’m glad you are happy to assist me. Your perky eagerness will hopefully result in a mutually beneficial solution.

System maintenance, eh? For a month, you say? That’s a shame! Especially as it disallows me to pay my bill to you guys. With the majority people paying their bills online (I assume, and we all know who assumption gave birth to, so I freely admit that my info may not be based on hard facts…) it would seem savvy for you guys to have your website in tip-top shape. I mean, your bill notification emails get out every month just fine, seems a shame that your website doesn’t run as smoothly.

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and speculate that your website works “on and off” every month, rather than just the “past month”. This is all based on my personal experience. So obviously there is a lot of room for error here. Perhaps my bills are just awkwardly timed to that one week every month that we all dread, resulting in me never being able to get online and pay on time. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if you look at your call logs, you’ll notice every two months or so one of your delightful collections personnel dials my number in an attempt to get me to pay my bill. I of course let them know that I fully intend to, and they politely say thank you and remind me of the time it takes to process the money when I pay it directly from my bank account.

You see I actually prefer to pay it directly on your website, using my exciting “Moneyback Visa”. That way I get rewards! Rewards I don’t get when I can’t log on to your website and pay my bill and have to pay it straight from my chequing account. Not getting rewards makes me sad. And I hate frowning and being sad.

Also, when I can’t log in and see my bill, I have to blindly trust you charged me for all the right things. This month’s bill is quite high. That could be because it’s two month’s bills, due to my inability to pay last month’s bill because I couldn’t log on, or maybe you have charged me erroneously for some things – just like that shot of Bombay Sapphire that was accidentally added to our bar tab last night. Who knows! The world is full of mystery.

So Andy, after I hit “send” I will try to log on again, to review and pay my phone bill. But it would be deliciously delightful of you if you could maybe offer me some “rewards”, or an apology/pity gift, or something similar (cough cough severly discounted/free iphone4 cough cough). You know in an effort you show you really do understand my plight, and that you do care about my loyalty to your brand and product. It would be a really nice gesture, especially as it is our two-year anniversary in November (eee! <3). One I would extoll to all my friends! There’s nothing quite like adding a little real-life, public goodwill to your brand!

Thanks for your time Andy!

I hope you had a fabulous Canada Day, and I look forward to hearing from you soon!




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