I’ve been overspending. What? I know! I swear I hadn’t bought anything either. A couple weeks ago, as my credit card balance was teetering at an all-time high, I vowed to quit buying crap!
Luckily my fabulous new Club Monaco dress is far from crap, as is season three of Futurama, or for that matter season four of Home Movies. And while we’re are on the topic, I really did need those Muppet Show DVDs and Madmen… And those two new pairs of jeans. They were on sale. And cheap in the first place. They’re from Bluenotes, come on people. And we ALL KNOW my life would not be complete without my spanking new awesome ROBOT COOKIE CUTTER. Seriously guys. HOW COULD I NOT?
Let’s take a trip down memory lane via my credit card statement:
1) V-Fest. That was pricey. But totally worth it!
2) Everything I bought in Montreal… Ooops.
3) Oooh look there’s my gym membership, I should really use that more.
4) ALL MY FREAKING BIKE PARTS. Ahem.
5) Tuition to the (hopefully) fabulous sewing course Emma and I will be taking together!
6) $13.98 worth of groceries, and only three meals out. I’m not quite sure where or how I’ve been eating.
Throw in a bunch of random items, and bam! Worst is none of my usual big ticket items are on this statement. No train tickets or flights. And I only bought one CD. That’s right, only one new album. Makes no sense to me either.
But still, it all adds up to WHOOPS I spent WAY TOO MUCH money last month.
So my brain thinks, “Ok Maggie, you just need to harvest EXTRA chickens to pay this off. Easy!” But no, Farmville can’t save me. Harvesting chickens on Farmville does not equate to actual golden coins in my pocket. Fool. Then I think “I’ll just pick up extra shifts, like I did at University!” No, silly brain, you have a fancy SALARY job now. You big kid, you. You should have learned to budget by now.
As I am quite keen NOT to break my winning streak of never having to carry a balance on my credit card, I’m gonna dip into the ol’ savings account to pay it off in three weeks when it’s due.
Incidentally at V-Fest, a woman hands me this neon pink flyer, and with a gleam in her eye says “It’s a casting call, for YOU, or uh, maybe someone you know.”
Oooh a casting call you say? (Though I must say my thoughts immediately went to that porn guy, which I’ll no doubt explain later…)
The flyer reads something along these lines:
Are you a FASHIONISTA that needs to become a RECESSIONISTA?
Has your spending become a problem in your work/love/social life?
Has your bank account taken a turn for the worst?
If so you should come on down!
We are holding a casting call for the new reality show PRINCESS!
Our expert host will blah blah blah fix your money woes and teach you to be less of an idiot, and still look so good.
LEARN HOW TO BUDGET, PRINCESS! PRINCESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
P.S. You we might give you up to $5000. (Ooooh $5000 you say?)
She spotted me a MILE away. Well, ten feet away. But she freaking spotted me. I may not be a Prada toting kinda gal, but I do all too often indulge in pretty things. They are just so pretty!
Living beyond one’s means is not a wise idea.
So, I’m gonna quit that.